I Am Not A Crayon.

lilacbreastedroller:

a chapterbook: *came with a stitched in ribbon bookmark, had a cloth spine, had those rough edged finished pages, or came with a map*

8 year old me: i am a 500 year old librarian and this is the most valuable book in my collection. i rescued it myself from a castle as it burned to the ground. *gingerly runs my little grubby hands down its spine and gazes wistfully out of the school bus window* i am the keeper of all civilization’s knowledge

(via cwnerd12)

teratomarty:

whitegirlblog:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo

If you’re doing this, it is because you, like the tiger, need enrichment and variety in your life. May I suggest cramming just a whole bunch of raw hamburger into a pumpkin and rolling it around your enclosure?

(via redflannelpunk)

dragon-in-a-fez:

bookhobbit:

why is “olde vampires in high school” the big thing and not “olde vampires in college”

• everyone in college is eccentric. everyone
• you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you
• everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette
• multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!
• wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm
• no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere
• big schools are very anonymous so nobody’s gonna bother to hassle you

consider: vampire PhD students and postdocs, because in addition to all of the above:

• been at the same campus for 57 years? seems legit

(via redflannelpunk)

edgelord-zuuko:

residentgayfriend:

so my english teacher put up new posters in her class and

IM IN LOVE WITH THESE

(via cwnerd12)

i-can-do-tricks:

revivalish:

mothmaam:

mothmaam:

the moon is proud of you

and so are the stars

and so is the sun 

the aliens are watching you, a little confused about your life choices but are proud of you too

(via redflannelpunk)

kittyeet:

(via the-questionmark-kid)

allobottomprivilege:

theconcealedweapon:

If you insist on telling bisexual people that “bi means two”, then don’t ever use the word “myriad” to refer to any amount other than 10,000.

Also, don’t ever use the word “quarantine” to refer to any period of time other than 40 days.

dont use the word decimated unless youre talking about something SPECIFICALLY reduced to 9/10th it’s previous size

(via redflannelpunk)

jesuismurphy:

jesuismurphy:

jesuismurphy:

Hands down my favorite part of Night At The Museum is that it’s low key the plot of The Mummy (1999) but like, chill.

Like Rami Malek’s character isn’t like a mannequin come to life like the rest of them. He’s 100% a 3000 year old reanimated corpse. And everyone’s just fine with it.

He could just take the tablet and fully walk out of the museum and just live his life but he’s a bro and would rather be a glorified docent.

(via redflannelpunk)

protect-and-love-animals: